The Airport Sleeping Disaster: Every Nap I’ve Taken in a Terminal, Ranked From “Acceptable” to “Send Help”
If you’ve ever tried to sleep in an airport, congratulations — you’ve survived an airport sleeping disaster, the most emotionally unstable activity known to humankind. I’ve taken so many airport naps that I now consider myself a professional, a scholar, and possibly a cautionary tale. Today, I’m ranking every chaotic nap attempt so you can feel better about your own poor life choices.
Let the judgment begin.
1. The “Sitting Upright Like a Victorian Ghost” Nap
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
Location: Any gate where people can stare directly into your soul
This nap happens when you’re too exhausted to function but too afraid to lean back because one wrong angle and your head will snap forward like a malfunctioning animatronic. Although it looks peaceful from afar, it feels like torture from the inside. Even worse, everyone walks by and wonders whether you’re meditating, dying, or both.
2. The “Leaning on My Backpack” Nap
Rating: ★★☆☆☆
Location: Next to a charging station that’s definitely not safe
Your backpack becomes your pillow, your emotional support system, and your chiropractor’s future income. It’s almost comfortable… until you realize you’re balancing on top of your laptop, a half-eaten granola bar, and a plug adapter stabbing you in the ribs.
3. The “Floor Nap” (Special Singapore Changi Airport Edition)
Rating: ★★★☆☆
Location: Gate areas, near mild regret but also unexpected comfort
Here’s where the chaos briefly turns heavenly. Most airport floors feel like punishment. However — and this shocked me too — Singapore’s Changi Airport has carpet. Actual, soft, glorious, noise-muffling carpet that makes collapsing onto the floor feel 40% less tragic.
Instead of waking up with a tile pattern embossed onto your cheek, you rise feeling like a slightly broken but well-rested human. The carpet doesn’t solve all your problems, but it does say: “Hey traveler… at least your spine won’t freeze today.”
If every airport used carpet like Changi, the world would be a kinder place.
4. The “Food Court Chair Mega-Nap”
Rating: ★★★☆☆
Location: Under a suspiciously bright light
You pull two plastic chairs together, attempt to recline like you’re on a beach lounger, and instantly regret everything. Even so, there’s something comforting about sleeping next to the smell of stale fries and depression. You awaken to children screaming for nuggets, which counts as an alarm clock.
5. The “Charging Station Prison Nap”
Rating: ★★☆☆☆
Location: Wherever the only working outlet in the entire airport exists
You sit on the floor, hugging the wall, trying to rest while guarding your phone at 5% battery like it’s a newborn child. It’s not comfortable. It’s not peaceful. Yet ironically, it is the closest thing to a meaningful airport relationship you’ll ever experience.
6. The “Gate Bench Without Armrests” Nap
Rating: ★★★★☆
Location: A rare treasure, hidden like a mythical creature
When you locate a bench without armrests, it feels like discovering buried treasure. You stretch out dramatically, as if starring in a perfume commercial. Other travelers stare with envy. This nap is almost blissful — a luxurious accident in the middle of transit chaos.
7. The “Final Desperation Nap”
Rating: ★★★★★ (but only because you finally pass out)
This nap occurs when your body fully shuts down. You could sleep standing, sitting, suspended in midair — doesn’t matter. Your soul exits your body and returns only when your flight starts boarding. Truly the peak of the airport sleeping disaster arc.
Conclusion:
Airport naps are never good, but they are always iconic. Some leave you with back pain; others leave you with emotional trauma; and one — thank you, Singapore — might actually treat you with dignity. No matter which form your next airport sleeping disaster takes, at least you’ll know you’re not alone in the chaos.
